My Past Is Still Trying

 It's right behind me. I know that it's reaching for me. 

Demon.

I hear it snicker. It taunts. It pokes. My past sees that I am leaving and I can tell that she misses me already. It plays It's tricks and trys and trys to catch me.

Sometimes it fails.

Other times it's close.

But I am running. I'm running as hard as I can. I'm hoping for the runners high soon.

I've had a good job offer get rescinded due to mine and Lillee's history. She's still hurting me after I've left and tried to help her. They don't realize that I was gone once before. The NCO came after I was gone. And when she reached out after the fact, I responded. I should have hung up that phone.

Though I loved her so. 

At least I think I did.

More and more I feel I used her to distract myself...

From myself.

I was selfish. Maybe I still am.

But I can't worry about the past now. And perhaps just by writing this, the past is close to snatching me up.

I am so close. And I know once I get over this first phase of the journey..... 

I'll be gone forever. 

Something do you hear me?

I need a little help. 

Toss ya ol pal Butterfly a bone this week.

-Butterfly