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Something I wrote in jail

 I wrote this shortly after getting sentenced. I like to fancy myself as a halfway decent writer, but when I'm being honest, I realize I am not all that great. However this is something I'm actually pretty proud to call my own. If you read this, and if you like it, please comment below. I love all my readers and am interested in people's thoughts.  A Leaping Ladybug When I was in jail, I had a dream where I was once again close to somebody I had loved. And so intensely did I love her that it was as if we had transcended to another level of existence. In fact, we had. We were there, in that new world, when a man came into our room. He told us that he had something he wanted to show a songbird, but that most of all, it was me who ought to pay very close attention. He then led us to a vineyard. One like those I used to walk through back in Sonoma. One where I could eat grapes freely and forget that I was me for a little while. It felt like how I imagine a home would feel. ...

I got out of jail yesterday!

 Everything I have been bitching about since coming home (9 months ago) is over now. I ended up doing 5 months in jail, but the charges ended up getting dropped, the restraining order was terminated, and so was my probation. Im free! 

God... Fuck you, and lemme ask

I feel so out of touch. It seems I've lost so much. Will I ever be enough? Will I ever be in touch With me? ​I want... Ha, does it matter? "I want" is always on my mind. Will I ever consider Anything But me? ​Oh God, I just want to say fuck you. Oh God, I just want to ask you: Was I there with you Before I came down to this Earth, Stuck here With me? -Butterfly

Its frustrates me

 When people literally shut their eyes and plug their ears when I speak its just like.....  Dude? Whats your fucking problem with me? Like seriously? Im just sharing how I feel at a fucking recovery meeting. I'm not talking about you. Im not talking for you. You're embarrassing yourself.  -Butterfly 

My rude ass Cat

 Does anybody else's cat talk back to them? I tell Elizabeth that she needs to get her literal asshole OUT of my face. Then she looks at me, "meows" at me like she doesn’t give two shits what I think at all, then continues to do whatever the hell Elizabeth wants to do. Because its ALL about Elizabeth. Then she talks back! Rude ass cat. -Butterfly 

I struggle with loss

Im Tired!

 I'm fucking sick and tired of pretending a future is guaranteed! And who the fuck says theres a God?  All I know is I think therefore I am! Why am I sitting here waiting to go to jail? Why am I sitting here saving money I may never spend? Why am I trying to live in a land where....  I.... DON'T....  FIT IN!  I'm a man with 9 lives.  I've used 8. I want to LIVE!!!!!  I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!  -Butterfly