The Break Away Experience

 Chances are I'm completely blocked, but since it goes back and forth all the time, I'm gonna give it a shot. Might as well.  Another good day today. I'm amazed how much I like my job. Can't wait for pay day though dude. 

 I'm sad. 

 I'm very happy to start working again. It's not even a money issue. I'm good there, but I've always worked and its been lame not having a job. I'm really excited to car shop. Me? Drive? It's been a while since I've driven legally. 

 I was reminded of this story today. I like it.  A PIG AND A BAKED POTATO Choices. Everybody's got them. Even me. Me, the guy who so often found himself in jail, that he believed spades to be a viable skill for the betterment of one's life, and who cherished a nice cardboard box when the wind bit his bones more than a call from a friend. A guy who considered the wrapped cheese in the dumpster behind that shady old buffet to be a treasure only I could appreciate. "Only I." Looking back on things, I suppose that's an egocentric way of thinking. That only I understand this experience or that one. An egocentrism that I apparently choose daily. Starting to see what I mean? Choices. We all got them. If it had ever come down to me to choose who the savior of the world would be, a baked potato, or Lisa Westfall. I'd choose the potato. Lisa made me feel as if I had been surviving on nothing but Snickers and cigarettes for weeks. Sick to my fucking stomach. Oh, how I wi...

 Its depends on who your God is and how you perceive her, him, it, or they. Some Gods do reveal themselves. It could be a random call saying hi when you feel lonely. It could be the wind feeling just right. Maybe you turn to a particular Bible verse that you needed to read at just that moment.  Or maybe you're doing reiki with some Buddhist friends and suddenly, you're a little bit closer to Nirvana. It could be a God revealing themself to you. Or maybe you don't believe in God. So.... you do a mock prayer just for shits and giggles and in that moment of self reflection you realize something you hadn't before and it clicks that win or lose, you may be alright. Honestly? Who the fuck knows? Life's not black and white. It's grey. So stay open! It helps immensely as I've been slowly..... slooowly.... SLOWLY finding out :) -Joe 🦋 

A huge weight has been lifted from me. I've wasted too much time. But the past is the past. The future is up for grabs. Thanks God. Whoever the fuck you are......  -Joe 🦋