The Break Away Experience

There's something about Breaking Away that places you in the present. Bye house. Bye work. Bye family. Bye social media. Bye drama. And goodbye Idaho. I'm a Cali boy anyways.  Yesterday me and the homie caught some sun and e-biked around this wonderful city. The Armenians were in town. I watched them dance and joined in with the last dance. Shit... I wasn't even offended when the old man next to me didn't want to hold my hand. I get it bro. Yet I wasn't surprised when he changed his mind. Butterfly charm baby.  Bought a new hat. Bought a wig for shits and gigs. Bought a new shirt to display Joy Division. Then I scootered past some beautiful ladies. It was windy but the bucket hat wasn't flying off! What the hell... but no worries. I had an idea. I just tipped the brim a little in hopes it'd soar. Then the wind, an amazing wing man, did it's part. Man that hat went flying! Jackpot! Ha! Then I got to hit them breaks and turn my little white ass right aroun...

 When I got the message online I wasn't as surprised as I feel I should have been. Certainly those of us who aren't use to such things would have at the very least raised a brow. Though in my case? A case where I'm so close to being fucked by life that I can smell her perfume... I could only act.  "Please be real." "Please let my response be quick enough". The stranger said it matter of factly. "I will pay you $300 for your pee". Bet. Run that. Gotcha boy. I'll be there.  The negotiations were simple. I worried about running into a guy who just wanted to see my dick. Or perhaps a freak who wanted to smell my piss. But who am I to turn down $300?  Soon I realized this dude was a novice to the grey. But I, and this is unlike me, I trusted him. To a degree at least.  The deal was done. I am drug and alcohol free after all. And I get to survive another day. And as for the weed smoking job prospect? Well he hit a low, but he was able to dodge a ...

 I've decided after doing about as much as I can do to further my situation today that I wanted to read my blog.  I have to admit that a lot of this is embarrassing. A lot of this I want to just erase. Especially the drunken heart broken posts when I was back in Idaho.  However, I promised not just those who are unfortunate enough to land here, but myself, that this blog is to remain unfiltered and unedited.  I guess it'll stay that way because this embarrassment will remind me not to drink, do drugs, or be like I was.  -Butterfly

 I hope the disguise worked.  I'm sure it did. "Your head's too big for this hat". "What if she flips out"? "Am I going to do this correctly"? These things we tell ourselves to back out. I can't back out though. Go forward. Only forward. I asked "Are you so and so?" she says "I am". I say "This is for you". Her hands recoiled. As if the paper was on fire and says "What is that?" I say "It's a court summons. You've been served". She claims "You can't do this at my work".  I've never done this before. I can only say "I'm sorry, but I can. I have to".  And I did have to. I need the $150. She just laughs, but it's an empty one. She says ok.  I'm sorry.  She's not too happy. I'm glad I wore a disguise. I hope it worked.  Things are good, but the progress is slow. I know as things pick up it's bound to speed up.  Yesterday I was discouraged. ...

 Leaving my house, quitting my job, leaving the state, cutting my family out, moving to a homeless shelter, starting school, looking for work, looking for a room or an apartment, all with a suspended license, criminal record, zero dollars, and spotty job history is super hard.  But it's doable.  Today I lost my phone charger. Today was just one more lesson. This is not a bad thing. It's another reminder that when you are executing a 10 year plan. A dream. You have to stay vigilant. Remember the finish line. Stay on point.  I have more faith, as the list of goals and stepping stones gets smaller, than ever before. Peru is calling. One day.  Today my temperament is solid. My path is known. The adventure breathes.  Though still... I'm impatient. I want it now. Yet still... I can center myself and remain calm. The Break Away Experience 2.0 will go forth.  And I will be a stronger man on the other side. This adventure is real. -Butterfly

 I'd like to let you know that those of you who have commented are appreciated immensely by this little ol' Butterfly. I have read every single one and they always light up my life. However, I write this blog on my phone and as of yet I have been unable to reply to comments on mobile. When I get past this first phase of BAE 2.0 I plan on getting my iPad back and sincerely wish to reply to all of you. Until that moment comes though, all I can do is make this post letting you all know that I see you and your words mean a lot to me. Thanks for sticking around and for joining me on The Break Away. Been going since Jan 18, 2025 now.  Thank you.  -Butterfly