Allowed myself to be flattered by a woman

 So I got to celebrate my sobriety birthday this morning. And my birthdays are always like a Comedy Central Roast because I'm so fuckin nuts.... 

People just like letting me know that I guess. 

But I enjoy it. I like being nuts. Normality to me is boring. 

Wanna hit up the swing set? 

Jump naked in the river?

Write down our biggest fears?

Talk about it?

But today this one woman had this to say:

"So I live in a house full of women. And two of them asked me what AA is like. I told them AA is great and theres this one guy.... he's wild... he's REAL... You should come because he'll probably be there tonight". 

Then she explained that these two women came to the meeting and how I was there but wasnt allowed inside.

She said 

"They came, but it was that night you weren't allowed inside". 

Everybody thought that was hilarious.... 

I was embarrassed, but it was funny. 

She went on... 

"The two women asked if you were coming in, but I explained that you couldn't come inside. They asked if I got arrested and I told them no. He's just not allowed inside". 

She continued to explain that this fact only "stoked" these women's interest to see me so they're going to come back to see what I'm about I guess. 

I could have misinterpreted honestly because it was humiliating having my court order laughed about, but it looks like I'm still getting people into AA. 

Thatta boy. Feedin your arrogance a little bit?

People said I bring a lot to the rooms. 

And I needed to hear that today. 

So a woman flattered me. 

So what? 

Lillee Mae doesn't love me so why not get flattered?

But Lillee Mae still holds my heart. I'm still waiting for her. 

NO interest in any other woman. 

And why bother with any other woman? The woman who told this story isn’t interested in me, but theres been a lot who have been lately.

But why bother? There is absolutely no way, no matter what, that anything will get me to love anybody like I love Lillee Mae. 

No chance. 

So just doin me today. 

-Butterfly

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