Allow yourself to rant

First off... I secretly wish I had readers, but nobody in my real life knows how to find my blog. And I won't tell them the name. 

Going to the gym right now because I'm getting angry again. And I don't want that. I know it's just my hurt more than anger.

I want readers because I wish I could relate with other people who got royally fucked by AA. 

Those who understand gossips, traitors, fucking ASSHOLES, and performative self help. 

How the Pams and Jetts of this world ever found themselves in a position to "lead" Lillee is absolutely mind boggling.

It's stupidity. How could someone so intelligent fall for this shit? Is it fear? Self doubt? 

You want what they have dude? To be fat and stupid? 

Or playing with dolls and being somebody nobody really likes? Who likes Pam? Shit... I had people pretty upset with me for giving her my phone list. 

Wake the fuck up dude. 

Its not even about me. 

Your guides are phoney as fuck and you don't even see it. 

Jett had a boyfriend. Fine for her right? Shes a hypocrite. 

Pam took my men's phone list when I was too hurt to understand how fucking sneaky that old bitch was being. I was such a lame in that moment. 

You want what they have? Bingo and sober parties? 

I'll say it... people like Pam and Jett or Kim being leaders is dangerous. Its dangerous dude

BIBLE RAVES!!!???

Lillee.... bruuuuhh.... READ the Bible dude... I have. And actually read the whole Big Book. Have you yet? I have. 

They're good books, but they DON'T HAVE ALL THE FUCKING ANSWERS!

Read.... between..... the lines!

Nothing on this planet is black and white. 

Its ALL grey. Rejoice in the grey dude. Rejoice in it. 

Fuckin christ. 

AA isnt a life sentence for me bruh. 

It's stupidity a lot of the times. That kid shouldn't have quit being a firefighter. FUCK HIS SPONSOR FOR THAT!

Can't wait to leave. 

I wish people read this bro. For real. 

But I'm not going to promote it. 

AA is a fuckin echo chamber bro.

Sponsors are fucking whack.

The hierarchical shit is whack. 

Thanks for the protection order you know is a sham. 

Its costed $1,200 dollars already and kept me in jail for over a month. 

Yea.... I shouldn't have emailed you, but YOU SAID you wanted to see how far you could take your addiction. And I KNEW Jett would do something FUCKING STUPID like have a newcomer become a GSR. 

Ooooooh.... my God.

Did you know the order you promised to drop is why I stayed in jail for over a month? That I should have been OR'd the next day? Do you even know what OR is? Can you explain to me why you are safe in the morning or at night, but how I'm a danger at noon? 

Bet ya fuckin can't girl. 

It's stupidity. 

Why do you follow what people tell you. Are you a drone? 

Get independent dude. 

Use discretion. 

Theres so many good, wise, badass people in AA. Watch out for the fuckin creeps dude. 

You're seriously going to sit in AA for 50 years and have somebody tell you how to live?

Bill Wilson had his bright light spirtual experience on acid. 

He cheated on his wife with new comers to the point where people were concerned. 

Its stupidity 

And I STILL want to see you!

I'm stupid too.


-Butterfly.

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