Butterfly Is Back

Hello, my name is Butterfly. 

I am a man, I am ALIVE, and I am mutha fuckin free! 

First off... Shout out to the truest homie I got... Lex you a true ride or die and I love ya dude. Thanks for being a friend through out it all. When everybody turned their back on me or wanted to tell me my values were shit and that I have a diesease or that I'm crazy you have always believed in me and for that I will always appreciate you. Shits rare. Thank you. 

Anyways... after my crash I have spent many months just trying to figure it out. I was looking for my calling. I was looking for my purpose for living. To be perfectly frank I was looking for drugs, booze, and an escape from the pain I felt in my life as well. 

Ya see all my life I have been looking for something. I was too embarrassed to admit that I was looking for a story. Not just MY story, but OUR story. I'd say to people "I'm looking for something. I just don't know what that something is". 

This was a lie. Maybe I used this as an excuse to avoid chasing after the story I want so badly to discover. I mean me? Me telling a story that may possibly have meaning to others and may possibly hold truths about myself waiting to be uncovered? It all seemed so unattainable then, but now I have faith. Now I know I'm more than a jailbird, drug addict, weirdo. I am loved. Today my first day in Sandpoint after over 7 months earned me hug after hug, much love, and demonstrated I wasn't forgotten or hated. Those who seeked to destroy me were only few of many many others. 

Please allow a short recap... I had been living in Washington after my drug fueled freedom search that was my first attempt to create The Break Away Experience. I had a home, a new job, and a goal to save up in hopes of reigniting the firey passion that is my dream of finding a story that'll last. 

However in Washington I came to realize that the ghosts of my past were coming back to haunt me. I found out that my warrants would strip me of my chance of receiving a passport and that just because Washington wouldn't extradite me back to Idaho didn't mean every state would be so generous. 

I came "home". Home? HA! Home is where I lay my head as Metallica says. However I came to the land of potatoes, racists, and clean rivers to face my past. I turned my ass into jail, served a little over a month, and now have not one, but TWO pretty pieces of ankle jewelry. One GPS tracker and a SCRAM alcohol monitor. 


This had to be done. In 5 months I'll have my license back, though I doubt I'll be driving before the blow and go restriction is lifted, but in a year I'll be on the road, hopefully 30k richer, and a new opportunity to create The Break Away Experience the right way. Not to be attempted on foot this time and not to be attempted without the proper preparation. And without the slightest concern for a scared girl I so wrongfully considered a brave woman and erroneously believed a leader. No hate though, I believe she one day will be brave, will one day be a leader, but I now understand that I was a fool to believe that that day was now. 

Anyways... I'm back bitches and I hope to get this blog back and running in hopes of gathering the dreamers, the "weirdos", the ones who not only want more, but those who KNOW there is more to this whole fuckin life thing than getting in line with the drones and being a slave to the desires of this corporationlist world. I want to find others who believe it's OK to be different. Those who speak their truth and love their people. 

We are powerful because we live. As long as we live we can accomplish more than what we are told to, but what we were meant to. Together we can break away and make big changes through small actions one baby step at a time. 

Please excuse my jumbled stream of consciousness. I write today for no other reason than for the simple love of writing. 

Much love!

-Butterfly

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